Exiit qui seminat

When I was a senior in college, I had the opportunity to work as a residence advisor in one of the dorms on campus. I met a fellow residence advisor whose name was Christine and after a few weeks, we started dating. She was smart, funny, compassionate and kind. Christine was truly my first (and only) serious relationship. Hindsight being 20/20, I can look back and see many of the mistakes that I made. I was an immature (and sometimes selfish) 22-year-old, and it showed. While not realizing it at the time, the Lord had different plans for my life that I was only then starting to understand. Before the beginning of the next school year, I remember waking up in the middle of the night, for no particular reason, and realized that, as much as I cared, I did not love Christine in the way she deserved to be loved. It devastated me, and eventually we broke up. Christine went on to marry her high school sweetheart and they started a family together. While we have drifted apart over the years, it is my hope and belief that God gave us both exactly what we needed. This Sunday's first reading from the Book of Genesis made me think about Christine and our relationship. Out of love, Abraham was willing to give up the one thing that he longed above all: a son. I can't even imagine the faith and trust that Abraham had in God's plan. Regardless of the outcome, Abraham knew that the Lord was going to make things right. Abraham truly believed that God would not forget His promise and be faithful to their covenant together. Would that we would have that type of faith and trust in God's will! If you are like me, I am often in a wrestling match with the Lord in terms of my trust. I give my life to Him and then quickly wrest it back because of the fear of not having control. In truth, God only desires our good and would never do anything to harm us. Trusting totally in Him leads to unexpected and oftentimes miraculous things. Our lack of trust and our fear prevents us from entering the life that God has planned for each and every one of us. So, as we continue our Lenten journey, what is the one thing that the Lord is asking us to let go of, or set free, because of love? What are holding back or desperately clinging to because of our lack of trust? For, in the end, it is only our trust and faith in God that has the ability to set us free.