Exiit qui seminat “The sower goes out to sow ”

I recently presided over the funeral service of a younger person. On the "clergy record", the form provided by the funeral home to the priest and/or parish is a list of loved ones. Along with the deceased's family members was listed a "companion", obviously someone the person had a close relationship, more than a mere boyfriend or girlfriend, but less than a fiancé or even a husband or wife. At the graveside, after the prayers had ended and the flowers placed on the casket, I saw the "companion", walking away by themselves, briefly comforted by the others present, but basically alone. I was truly struck by that moment and it really made me reflect about the current climate of our culture. Now I know that not every couple should get married, and while divorce is not what God desires for us, I understand the difficult choices people have to make for their own wellbeing. In addition, I have no idea about the nature and depth of this particular couple's relationship, but I couldn't help but feel compassion for the young person - wondering whether or not they would have the support they would need in the months and years following, long after the funeral had ended. Whether the companion would still be considered "family" even though the couple was never married. The reality is that fewer and fewer couples are getting married and instead are living with one another without ever feeling the need to be married. This trend, while popular in modern society, is a dangerous one. It seems to reject the underpinnings of commitment and permanence that bolster marriage. While proponents for not getting married would argue that one does not need a sacrament or piece of paper to show their commitment to one another, on the flip side, there is nothing to hold the couple together when times get tough and it would be easy to walk away. From a Church perspective, marriage is not just important for a couple, it is essential for the life of the Church herself.  Marriage in the Church is a covenant with God. It gives grace to the couple, the necessary spiritual help to hold them together. That covenant lifts up the couple with God's love, especially when a husband and wife are having a hard time loving each other. In addition, marriage in the Church not only helps the couple to grow in love and fidelity to one another, but also is the formation of a "domestic church" in their own right. Marriage is the fundamental building block of society and is a visible sign of sacrificial love. Let us pray for couples, especially those who may be far from the idea of marriage right now. Let us pray that they may have their hearts moved by God to be closer to Him. Because I have to tell you, while spending your life with the person you love is pretty great, it pales in comparison to when you have a loving relationship with someone and have the grace and love of God lifting it up!

Fr. Rob